


Don't Feed the Plant

by Joley123



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mild Gore, little shop of horrors - Freeform, mix of musical and movie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-01 01:52:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15132467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Joley123/pseuds/Joley123
Summary: A 'Little Shop of Horrors' based Phan AU.Phil is a poor orphan working in his adoptive aunt's run-down flower shop in London. After buying a suspiciously strange plant with a carnivorous appetite, Phil's life changes overnight, even bringing him closer to crush and coworker, a troubled and near destitute Dan Howell. Soon enough, though, Phil realizes that fame and romance comes with the ultimate price.





	1. Total Eclipse of the Sun

Phil’s hand haphazardly felt around until it shut off his alarm – seven a.m., just like every other morning. He looked out the window, a slight smile forming on his face. It was, perhaps, the first sunny day England had seen in months. He felt almost hopeful – maybe today would have more changes for the better.

With a content sigh, he stepped into the shower. The hot water had been shut off.

 _Maybe not_ , Phil thought to himself. He got out quickly and dried off, throwing his clothes and shoes on soon after. He went to his fridge and stared inside longingly, as if this would be the day it was full, that his options would be more than two-day-old takeout and an apple. He grabbed the latter with him as he headed out the door, taking advantage of the sunshine and walking to work. 

There was an outdoor market Phil passed on his trek through Enfield – one of the few remaining from the area’s better days. Every now and then he would find a plant to bring into the shop, or one of the women running the food stands would take pity on the skinny boy in rumpled clothes and send him off with something to eat. 

It was while Phil was poking around a plant stand when he noticed everyone turning and looking up. 

“Mate take a look, it’s the total eclipse of the sun!”

Phil had recalled reading about that online, how it was the first one of its kind since the 1970s. He squinted as he looked up. Everything went dark for a moment, but as quickly as it started, it was over.

When he turned back to the booth, Phil’s eyes drifted to a plant on the counter. He swore it hadn’t been there before. He couldn’t quite describe it – perhaps it was some sort of cabbage or succulent.

“How much for this one here?”

The vendor furrowed his brows, almost as if he didn’t recognize it either.

“Uh…five pounds?”

“Sold!”

Phil held on to the plant as he darted towards the store, pleased with his new purchase.

“Aunt Donna look at this!” Phil set the plant on the counter with a bright grin. 

Donna wasn’t his actual aunt – not biologically anyway – but she was a close friend of his parents and raised him since their passing when he was only twelve. Phil was forever grateful for that, even though it seemed like she didn’t particularly like him most days. He could count on one hand the amount of times she hugged him. But she kept him from foster care and gave him a job after high school, so he really couldn’t ask for more. 

“The fuck is that?” Donna peered over her reading glasses. “Some sort of GMO flytrap?” 

“I’m not sure,” Phil rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “But I’ve never seen anything like it, thought it could bring some attention in to the shop.” 

She rolled her eyes and huffed, her hand hitting against the counter and making Phil jump slightly. “Bloody hell, Phil. How many times do I have to tell you to stop bringing random crap into the shop while we’re not turning profit? Just take that shit to your playroom and come back up to sweep.”

What Donna called the ‘playroom’ was actually the basement that Phil would stay in when he couldn’t make rent – there was a cot and a mini fridge, as well as a few plants scattered about. There was a table and a couple chairs propped up in the middle of the room, the new plant set as a centerpiece. 

“I’ve got to google what the hell you are, huh?” 

Phil snapped a picture on his phone, tucking it back into his pocket as he made his way back up the stairs, grabbing the broom that rest just outside the back room. He began tidying up the area, smiling to himself when he heard the back door open. 

“Sorry I’m late!” 

Dan clapped Phil on the shoulder as he walked past into the front, his heart skipping a beat at the contact. His crush wasn’t the subtlest around, but he knew better than to vocalize his feelings. When Dan returned, however, Phil’s face fell, as did the broom he was holding. 

“Jesus, what happened to you?” Phil stepped closer to Dan, who ducked his head away. 

“I walked into a door,” Dan mumbled, trying to angle his head away from him.

Phil finally managed to cup Dan’s chin and get a good look at his face. There was an attempt at covering the black eye with cover-up, but the area around his eye was discolored and swollen, he couldn’t have gotten it more than a couple days ago. Anger pooled in his stomach when he thought about how that must’ve happened. “It was that creep of a boyfriend of yours, wasn’t it?”

“I keep telling that boy he’s no good!” Donna shouted from the front room.

Dan sighed, crossing his arms and pacing a bit. “He’s a little rough around the edges, yeah,” he mumbled, looking away from Phil. “But he’s not all bad…besides, he’s got health insurance,” he said with an awkward laugh. 

“Yeah, and he’s making sure you get full use of it,” Phil retorted. “You’re too good for a guy that beats on you, Dan.”

There was a beat of silence before Dan shook his head. “I’m really not.”

What Phil hated the most was that Dan truly believed that. While he didn’t talk about his past much, it was clear that he’d had a very rough life, and despite the warmth in his personality, he had been beaten and broken down by more than his boyfriend. 

“Hey, you wanna see something cool?” Phil offered, hoping a change in subject would be the best course of action. “Look at this plant I got. I’ve never seen anything like it before,” he got his phone out of his pocket and showed Dan the picture. 

“Is that a cabbage?” Dan asked, tilting his head.

“Maybe…I have no idea, honestly. I just think it’s neat.”

“What’re you going to call it?”

Phil tilted his head in thought, then grinned brightly. “Daniel Two!”

It was a little cheesy, but seeing Dan’s dimpled smile made it worth it as far as Phil was concerned. “After me?” he asked, hand over his heart.

“Yeah! It’s unique, special, and a little weird. Just like you!”

Dan chuckled softly, his expression warm and relaxed. “The world does not deserve you, Phil Lester.”

* * *

It had been a couple weeks since the eclipse, and Phil was frustrated. He had spent hours researching plants and different ways to care for them, but it all felt for naught. Daniel II sat on the windowsill of his flat, withering away. 

“You’re killing me, Danny. And I’m killing you. We’ve gotta quit this toxic relationship,” he chuckled, walking over. He ran his thumb over the leaves and through the dirt, but as he moved his hand back, he nicked his finger on a jagged edge of the coffee tin that held the plant. 

“Ow, fuck!” Phil retracted his hand, wincing at the blood that started to drip down his finger. It was at that moment when the plant seemed to perk up, its mouth opening like a fish waiting for flakes. He looked at it incredulously, realizing what was happening.

“There are no wikihow articles on bloodthirsty plants,” he murmured, looking at his bleeding finger and the eager plant. “Might as well,” he held his finger over and managed to milk a good few drops in. 

Daniel II seemed to preen at the substance, it straightened up and no longer seemed on the brink of death.

“I can’t wait to bring you into the shop tomorrow,” Phil shook his head in disbelief before getting into bed. 


	2. Somewhere That's Green

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> (chapter tw for domestic violence)

“Dan, have you got the Reynold’s bridal shower order ready yet?” Phil pushed his way into the back room, full vases in each arm. He set them each down in their designated sections. He had to think on his toes when it came to organizing the sudden influx of orders, though most of the new system could be contributed to Dan.

“Just need the final touch,” Dan finished the bouquet with a big white bow, beaming proudly. He set his finished product up and updated it on their new computer – the first proper purchase the store has made. “Looks like a proper centerpiece, doesn’t it?” 

Phil smiled, getting his phone out and taking a picture. “A vision in white.”

“They’re cream, Phil. Come on, people are looking to you as a plant expert, you’ve got to know what you’re talking about,” Dan bumped Phil’s shoulder with the lighthearted teasing. As much as Phil appreciated the business they were getting, he was far more taken with the change in Dan’s mood. They were both spending a lot more time together in the store, and the positive attention didn’t hurt either. 

Rolling his eyes, Phil nudged Dan back with a fond smile. “I guess I ought to learn from you then?” he retorted, leaning against the table. “I missed you at my interview for The Londoner,” he remarked offhandedly. 

Dan winced, his eyes downcast. “I was a little tied up,” he replied quietly. He rubbed his arm awkwardly, his sleeve pushed up enough to expose the rope burn on his wrist.

Phil gave him a sympathetic nod. “You’re far too pretty to keep getting bruised up,” he tried to keep it lighthearted, but he saw red every time Dan came in after a night of abuse. 

“You’re one to talk, look at your hands,” Dan retorted.

He couldn’t argue with that – he had recently moved from keeping individual bandages around each finger to just keeping his hands wrapped up. He would tell customers it was for carpal tunnel, and Dan was more than willing to believe he was actually that clumsy. “It just kills me to know he’s hurting you like that.”

“You have more important things to worry about,” Dan moved closer to Phil, carefully taking his hand. “Please don’t stress over me when you have so much on your plate, okay?” 

Phil opened his mouth to reply, but was interrupted by an alarm going off on his phone. “Time to feed Dan II,” he murmured, starting towards the door before turning back. “This conversation isn’t over.”

“Oh, go feed your moneymaker.”

Shaking his head, Phil made his way to the front of the store where a group of university-aged girls were taking selfies with the plant. Daniel II had grown to the size of an adult human, but the head much more bulbous and the leaves and roots stretched wider. 

“Excuse me, ladies, I’ve got to take this guy in the back for his feeding. Back in fifteen.” 

“Wait, wait!” one of the girls grabbed Phil’s arm, startling him. “Can we get a selfie with you and Daniel II first?” 

Admittedly, Phil was still unnerved by the attention. He had spent his whole life coasting on invisible. “Um, yeah, of course,” he tilted awkwardly to get everything into frame. 

“What time do you get off work, by the way? My friend Hannah here would love for you to take her to dinner,” one of the girls said once they had stopped taking pictures, the rest of them giggling. 

Instead of offering a direct reply, Phil panicked and said, “Daniel II needs to be fed in private, so if you guys could head out for a bit, it’d be appreciated,” and with that, he pulled a black curtain that cornered off himself and the plant.

A couple drops to get it through the day.

* * *

Donna locked up the shop for the day and inhaled deeply. “You smell that, kid? This place has got a pulse and it’s fresh.”

Phil looked up from the computer with somewhat of a perplexed expression. “I think so?” he shut it down for the night. “Has Dan gone home yet?” 

“Waiting out back for the dentist,” she clicked her tongue in disapproval. “I’m going home, finish shutting down,” the door shut behind her as she left before he could respond. 

The room was silent for a good few moments, leaving Phil alone with his thoughts. That was, until, he heard a motorcycle engine revving not too far off. The dentist, great. Phil made his way outside, trying to make it seem like a casual coincidence that he was stumbling upon Dan and his boyfriend at that very moment. 

“Oi! You’re the plant guy aren’t ya?”

Dan’s boyfriend was everything Phil had anticipated and then some. He was tall – even compared to himself and Dan, who were both over six foot – but much more muscled. Even through the thick leather jacket, it was obvious that he was a gym rat. His hair was jet black and greasy, to the point where it was unclear if it was intentional or not. He reeked of cigarettes and motor oil and had an all too intimidating presence. 

“Phil!” Dan seemed relieved to see him. “This is my boyfriend, Robert Clarke,” he winced at a sudden blow to his side, “DDS.”

“Excuse this dumb slag, no one ever taught him no fuckin’ manners. Here’s my card,” Robert elbowed Dan out of the way to hand it to Phil, completely oblivious to the horrified expression on his face. “Call me if you ever need a root canal,” his grin displayed a gold tooth, which did not surprise Phil in the slightest, despite the subtle irony. He yanked Dan on to his bike with him, revving the engine while he waited for him to put his helmet on.

Dan looked at Phil with an expression of embarrassment and shame, he mouthed ‘sorry’ before wrapping his arms around Robert’s waist, speeding off seconds later. 

* * *

“Ow, ow! Careful!” Dan hissed in pain.

“Hey, you’re the one that didn’t want to go to the hospital,” Max retorted as she applied antiseptic to the wound that hit just below Dan’s ribcage. She bandaged up the injury, shaking her head. “’The knife only grazed me’, fuck’s sake, Howell.”

Dan whimpered softly until it was done, pulling his shirt back on. “I know he has his…sadistic tendencies, but what can I do?” he looked at his best friend and roommate pitifully, but she just rolled her eyes. 

“Leave him, you dumb fuck,” Max pulled her thick, black hair up into a ponytail, as if it better centered her attention on him. “He’s a bad guy. You know he’s a bad guy,” she glanced over at Dan’s dresser, where there was a framed newspaper cover, the title read ‘South England Florists Raise Bizarre New Plant’ and a picture of him, Phil, and Donna was front and center. “A guy like that is what you need. And everyone can tell Phil fancies you quite a bit.”

Following her gaze, his eyes landed on the picture as well. “Phil is the kindest, sweetest, most sincere guy I’ve ever met. I don’t deserve someone like him.” 

She frowned, draping her arm over his shoulder. “What you don’t deserve is someone that gives you black eyes and stab wounds, babe. I think that nerdy plant boy is exactly what you need.”

It was a nice thought, certainly one that had crossed Dan’s mind before. In a perfect world, he did see himself with Phil. He pictured them somewhere on the English countryside in a cottage, a manicured front lawn and a backyard full of flowers and herbs, a fully stocked kitchen inside after regular trips to the farmer’s markets in the wealthy neighborhoods. He imagined quiet nights in with Phil, watching Netflix, playing video games with a dog sleeping at their feet. He lay down and stared up at the ceiling. “With the money he’s making off that plant, we could get out of here. Far from skid row…that’s the dream.”

“Somewhere that’s green? Yeah, could see you being a happy housewife. Think you’ve earned it,” Max got up and leaned slightly out the window as she lit a joint, taking a long drag. “Gotta wonder what he feeds that plant of his, though.”

* * *

“Feed me.”

Phil whirled around, nearly dropping the potted plant in his arms. “What was that?” surely, he was hearing things, must be due to the blood loss.

“Feed. Me.”

“Daniel!” he gaped, now setting the plant aside with shaky hands. “You…you talked! I don’t know how you have vocal cords, or lungs, or—”

“Feed me, Lester! Feed me now!”

No amount of plant-care research could have prepared Phil for this. He had to think on his feet, as his life quite possibly depended on it. “Okay, okay. I-I’ll drive up north to a farm, bring back a goat or something for you and—” even without eyes, it felt like the plant was glaring at him, its roots looking like crossed arms. Phil’s heart sank. “It has to be human? I can’t keep bleeding out for you.”

“Doesn’t have to be yours. And I can make it worth your while. This is just the tip of the iceberg, baby. I can hook you up boy – cars, vacations, wining and dining with elites. I can provide if you let me thrive. Think about where our success can take you, and how Dan’s been looking at you these days, hm?”

Phil swallowed thickly. His mind raced with thoughts of what he could do. Get a new flat with all the amenities, send Donna somewhere far off for retirement, and Dan…god, all the things he’d want to give to him. “What do you want me to do, _kill_ someone?” there was a beat of silence. “Oh my god, you want me to kill someone.”

“What’s a little body count compared to all your wildest dreams coming true? Besides, plenty of people deserve to die.”

Shaking his head, Phil started to pace back and forth. “That’s not true, I don’t know anyone that deserves to be chopped up and fed to a bloodthirsty plant.”

Daniel II reached its roots out and stopped Phil in his tracks. It turned him around to face out the window where Robert was storming towards the shop and Dan was running like a scared puppy behind him. They could hear him shouting before the door even opened.

“Stupid son of a bitch! Doesn’t bring his fucking jacket. You’d lose your ditzy fucking head if it wasn’t screwed on!” Robert threw the door open and shoved Dan inside.

“Hi Phil, forgot my jacket,” Dan explained meekly, grabbing it off the coat hanger.

“Move it, slut!” he yanked him out of the shop. “You’re an embarrassing goddamn nightmare, I swear next time the knife won’t just slip!” the shouting was followed by a loud slap that nearly sent Dan into the door before he was yanked back on to the motorcycle.

Phil turned to face Daniel II as Robert and Dan drove away, looking angrier than ever. “Now that you mention it, the guy sure looks like plant food to me.”


	3. Suppertime

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw for some gore

Phil never liked going to the dentist as a child and was a bit difficult when it came to his annual checkups. He would dig his heels in and insist to his parents that he would not go – only to be bribed out with sweets. 

No amount of sweets, however, could make this dentist appointment less nerve-wracking. The fluorescent lights seemed blindingly brighter than usual, every little noise kept him on edge. His eyes darted from patient to patient – the young mum with her infant in a pram, the teenager texting away, the parents trying to comfort a crying girl – no older than eight – who was about to get braces on. None of them acknowledged his existence, but he could swear they all knew something was off about him, as if they could all see the pistol he had smuggled in his messenger bag. 

“Mr. Lester? You can head into room four,” the assistant came out to say. 

Clutching his bag close to his side, Phil walked down the hallway until he reached room four, sitting himself down on the exam chair. Time seemed to move even slower while he waited for Robert, and what was probably five to ten minutes felt like hours. 

“Well hey there plant boy, fancy seeing you here,” Robert tossed Phil’s chart on to the counter and sat himself on the stool.

“You come so highly recommended,” Phil was trying desperately to not let his voice give away how nervous he was, though the dentist hardly seemed to notice, getting back up and thumbing through his papers.

“Haven’t had a checkup in five years huh?” Robert shook his head. “Oh boy I’m gonna have a lot of fun with your mouth,” there was something in his tone that Phil could only identify as evil.

With a shaky hand, Phil started to reach for the gun when his back was turned, apparently looking for something. 

“Here’s the good stuff,” he grinned as he picked up a tank of laughing gas, putting the mask to his mouth and inhaling deeply. He let out a cackling laugh when he pulled back, his face crazed.

“I-I thought it was mostly anesthesia these days,” Phil remarked offhandedly, trying to make casual conversation while he calmed himself down. He only had one shot at this, he had to make it count.

Robert chuckled at that. “Oh, this ain’t for you,” he hooked the mask properly on his face, turning the tank on, the gas continuously flowing through the mask. “Calms the nerves, if you know what I mean,” he winked. He moved about without stopping the flow of narcotics, getting the tools he would need to wreak havoc on Phil’s mouth. The tank jostled back and fourth as he walked until a loud clang stopped him in his tracks.

Phil peered over to see the tank and realized the intake valve broke, causing the laughing gas to flow more intensely. He watched Robert frantically struggle with the mask, only to notice it was stuck as well. He watched as his pupils started to dilate and his complexion started to fade to a sickly grey. 

“Fuck, this thing’s really jammed up,” Robert was no longer able to hold himself up, slouched on the ground against the wall. He looked at Phil expectantly, waiting for him to get up and help. When it was clear that help would never arrive, he appeared to resign himself to his fate, but quietly asked “What’d I ever do to you?”

“It’s not what you did to me. It’s what you did to him.”

* * *

“Just pretend you’re butchering a pig, Phil,” Granted, Phil had never done that either. But it made the task at hand more palatable, he supposed.

With his heavy rubber gloves, thick smock, boots, and mask, he felt like he had an additional barrier between himself and the gruesome task. He steadied his grip on the axe and took swing after swing to the corpse, leaving the remains in easily-consumable chunks for the plant. Once he deemed the task completed, he shoved the body parts back into the black garbage bag that had carried the body and dragged it back upstairs.

Phil had to look away when Daniel II devoured what was once Robert Clarke, DDS. The chomping and crunching and squishing was enough to make his stomach churn. He did his best to quell his unease by reminding himself of all the horrible things that man had done to Dan, and that was just what he had seen and pieced together in the aftermath. It was probably much worse behind closed doors. Dan was safe now, he thought.

“Goodnight, two-ey. Tomorrow is a new day,” he gave the plant a pat before heading back home, having no idea what tomorrow would hold.

* * *

Seeing Dan dressed in all black was not an unusual sight, in fact it was a primary staple in his wardrobe. He looked paler than usual, his clothing seemed to drown him as he walked. His eyes were red and watery, and he seemed to tremble a bit as he walked.

“Dan are you okay?” Phil surprised himself with how easily he put on a shocked and concerned voice, but even though he knew what was coming – it had been a week in the making, after all – seeing him distraught cut him like a knife.

“His office was in shambles, they think someone tampered with his laughing gas. The officers suspect…f-foul play,” Dan sniffled.

Guilt hit Phil hard, and he opened his mouth to offer his sympathies, but Dan continued talking.

“What kills me is just…I feel responsible for it,” Dan confessed. “Secretly…I’d been wishing for it. I willed it into existence,” he hugged Phil close, crying into his shoulder.

After Dan had composed himself, Phil cupped his face, wiping a tear away with his thumb. “This is not your fault. You have done nothing wrong. I know it feels hard to believe, you’ve been through hell and back with that man. But now you’re free, and I’ll be there for you every step of the way.”

Dan shook his head, standing back upright and starting to pace a bit. “You don’t understand, Phil I haven’t lead a good life. I don’t deserve someone nice and caring like you. I deserved a creep like Robert Clarke, DDS. Do you know where I met him? At a strip club. And not even one of those nice ones with rules and security guards. He pulled me right off the _stage_ , Phil, told me how lucky a gutter rat like me would be to be with him. You can do so much better than me.”

“Hey, hey,” Phil reached out and grabbed Dan’s arm, stopping him in his tracks and pulling him close. “I don’t care about where you’ve come from. That’s not what matters to me. Yes, you’re beautiful, anyone could see that – even him. But you’re a gentle soul and warm, and kind a-and I just…I’ve never met anyone that makes me feel the way you do.”

There was a moment of silence, but it wasn’t a tense one. It was Dan silently trying to grapple with the idea of being loved by someone like Phil, who – as far as he was aware – didn’t have a violent or mean bone in his body. He recalled Max’s less-than-gentle nudging in his direction, and losing Robert helped him come to terms with his true feelings.

“I can’t believe I’ve been so blind, so foolish,” Dan finally said, meeting Phil’s gaze. They shared a long, loving kiss that – at least for a moment – made all their worries and anxiety disappear. They had each other now, bringing something almost like peace to them.

“Let me walk you home,” Phil smiled.

“You say that as if you’re going back to yours,” Dan retorted.

* * *

“Looks like you haven’t gotten much sleep.”

Phil had left Dan’s flat early that morning to set up shop and check on Daniel II. Normally, he had a good hour or two before Donna arrived, leaving him startled when he walked in on her already there.

“I uh, had a long night. Was helping Dan with some things.”

“Oh, I’m sure you were ‘helping’ him alright,” Donna retorted, making a jerking-off motion with her hand, causing Phil’s face to turn a bright red. “Was it worth it?” she asked, “I like the kid, don’t get me wrong, but did you really have to off his boyfriend to get in his pants?”

The blood instantly drained from Phil’s face, and it was difficult for him to not look guilty in that moment. He cleared his throat, running his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what you’re on about, they say Robert’s still missing, they don’t know if he’s dead or not.”

Donna glared at Phil, slamming her hands down on the counter. “I _saw_ you. I saw you chopping up his body like he was a slab of meat!”

Phil swallowed thickly, there was no good explanation for that. “Okay, okay. I chopped him up, but I didn’t kill him!” somehow that sounded worse.

“Lucky for you, I’m going to give you an out,” there was a sudden cold, calloused tone in her voice that left him unnerved. “You’re gonna fake your own death and skip town. Leave everything to me in your will, it’ll be like you never existed,” she didn’t give him a chance to respond, “I’ll go get the forms from my office,” as she went upstairs, he turned to face the plant.

“You know what to do.”

“I can’t.”

“Think about all those offers.”

“But—”

“Your future with _Dan_. Everything will fall into place when she’s out of the picture.”

Daniel II played dead when Donna returned, save for one of his roots that subtly tapped Phil’s leg.

“You’ll need to take care of the plant,” Phil blurted out. “It’s unique, requires a lot of special care,” he explained.

Donna set the files down on the counter. “Of course,” she walked towards the plant, which opened its’ mouth as she approached. “How do you feed this beast?”

Phil took a few tentative steps behind her. “Well, you just lean in…”

“And?” she asked, leaning forward.

It was a sudden shove, just enough to make her lose her balance and falling into Daniel II’s gaping maw. It snapped shut around her and, like before, Phil had to look away as it devoured its meal. In that same blind rush of adrenaline, he threw out the papers and removed any trace of Donna being in the store that morning. He scrubbed the shop from top to bottom like the crime scene it was.

Finally, it was done, and Phil braced himself against the counter to catch his breath. The reality of his actions was starting to hit him, his eyes widening in horror. However, he didn’t have time to process it, interrupted by a tapping on the door.

“Are you open yet?”


	4. The Meek Shall Inherit

“Dan, it’s caviar. It’s not going to poison you,” Phil nudged him and spoke in a whisper. It was their third business dinner in the past week, but it was clear that Dan needed a bit more time to adjust to the types of restaurants they were being taken to.

“They’re _weird_ ,” Dan whined. “Food isn’t supposed to jiggle or squish like that.”

Phil nudged Dan again, this time to quiet him while the latest team of business people pitched their ideas to them. The first few times, people had tried to talk to him and Donna, leaving him to explain that she has ‘retired to Portugal’. The next few times, the suggestion was for Phil to come out alone, but he was far too afraid to agree to that. He was afraid he may slip up and reveal too much under pressure. So, the logical next step was to bring Dan along – nothing was more certain to keep him on his toes when it came to talking about the plant. 

Most people would have enjoyed being wined and dined by England’s elites. For Phil, each fancy dinner and glass of champagne plagued him with an increasingly intense sense of dread. He wasn’t sure how much longer he could keep it up. Podcasts, college tours, books – his life and bank account would be thriving. But at what cost?

Tonight’s meeting was for what could be the biggest deal of them all – a TV show. Network executives from Discovery wanted Phil to do a weekly botany show on their home and health channel, they told him that it could even be a daily arrangement, something housewives could watch while they got the kids ready for school, they said. 

“I am excited, of course, I just…have a bit of stage fright,” Phil laughed nervously. His hesitation had shown enough to raise a couple eyebrows during the discussion. Most people – the ones that would kill for this opportunity – wouldn’t know how literal that expression was for him. Taking those offers meant more bloodshed, more violence. He didn’t know how much more killing his conscience could handle. 

“I think it’s an amazing idea,” Dan squeezed Phil’s hand under the table. 

Phil looked at Dan, the way his eyes sparkled with enthusiasm. This was the happiest he had ever seen him, and he had been so eager and willing to help further Phil’s career any way he could. Having a support system in someone he loved should have put his mind at ease instead of making his stomach tighten. 

Being with Dan would have never happened had he not gave into the plants’ desires. And it seemed that all the new work was bringing them closer. Without the plant, Phil would lose it all – who was to say he wouldn’t lose him as well? 

“Where do I sign?”

Phil hadn’t gotten a good night’s sleep since he signed the contract, and when he was awake he seemed exhausted and stressed. He had tried to think about every potential next move, finally coming to a single conclusion – he couldn’t keep Daniel II alive. 

The realization hit only the day before, when a camera crew had been in the store, filming a bit for an upcoming football match. There were fast-talking announcers, pushy cameramen, no one even seemed to notice Phil try to get in.

That was until a loud thud brought production to a halt. The plant had wilted onto the floor, appearing to barely cling to life. 

“What the hell is wrong with it?” the director was clearly irritated, nudging the head with his foot. 

Phil shoved the director out of the way, lest he become the next meal. “It just needs to be fed!” he said quickly, trying desperately to get some space in the small store.

“So, feed it, we don’t have all day!” 

“I-I can’t!”

The man gruffly shoved Phil aside, looking around. “Then I will, where’s the plant food?”

“It doesn’t eat plant food! And I can’t feed it now! Everyone just…just needs to leave,” no one moved. “Out! Out!”

Dan, who had been watching from the sidelines, grabbed Phil by the shoulders and started shaking him. “Phil! Listen to yourself. You’re hysterical, they’re just doing their job.”

Phil tried to let Dan’s touch relax him the way it usually did, but he was still far too on edge. “I know. I’m sorry…I just…I have to go,” he wriggled out of his grasp and darted out the store.

With no one to feed the plant, the director let out a disgruntled sigh. “Alright, let’s call it a day, folks. We got enough footage anyway,” and with that he, the camera crew, and the announcer all gathered their things and filed out of the store, leaving Dan with the plant and a few straggling customers who had come to watch the filming. 

“Um…I think we’re going to close early for the day,” Dan ushered the customers out. He left the store and rounded the corner, looking around until he saw Phil sitting on top of a dumpster, looking disheveled and helpless. He tentatively stepped closer, until he was standing in front of his boyfriend. 

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Phil was silent, but words seemed to dance at the tip of his tongue. He looked up at Dan hesitantly, then took a deep breath. “Can I ask you something?” there was another pause as Dan nodded expectantly. “If there was no Daniel II…no book deals or podcasts or tv shows…would you still like me?”

Dan stepped closer and cupped Phil’s face, resting their foreheads together. “I would still love you. I don’t care about the plant or the money. I care about the nice, lanky guy that works at a flower shop that trips over garden hoses and is probably a little too color blind for bouquet arranging. The guy that showed me nothing but kindness from the day I started working here, even though I didn’t have much of anything to offer in return.”

There was a brief pause, then Phil got up off the dumpster and held Dan’s hands. “Then marry me.”

“Wh-What?”

“Marry me, Dan. We can start over, move somewhere without plants – we could get a penthouse in the middle of London with the money we’re getting! No more stress, just doing what we want on our own terms,” he cleared his throat, his cheeks tinting pink. “So…will you?”

“Yes!” Dan hugged Phil tightly, kissing him deeply. 

“Go home and pack then. We’ll go to the courthouse tomorrow, then we can honeymoon anywhere in the world you want,” Phil smiled, then glanced towards the shop. He left all his important contracts in there. “I’ll catch up,” he promised.

Dan nodded and ran across the street to what had become their shared apartment over the past few months, a spring in his step as he felt like the happiest man in England.

Phil watched gleefully as Dan left, only for a sinking feeling to form in his stomach as he headed back towards the shop. He tried to sneak around as quietly as possible while he gathered his papers. He thought he was home free until he got to the front door.

“Feed me!”

“I absolutely will not, under no circumstances, so stop asking,” Phil shook his head. “I can’t live with the guilt.”

“Tough shit.”

“Language!”

The plant crossed its tendrils. “You better cut the crap and bring me some goddamn meat.”

“Fine, but you’re getting some ribs from the butcher, take it or leave it.”

Daniel II let out an annoyed growl, but relented, picking its head up to nod in acceptance. It waited until Phil left before it grabbed the store phone and punched in a series of numbers. 

Dan looked at his phone and recognized the store number. “Phil? Is everything okay?”

“It ain’t Phil, baby, turn around.”

Peering out the window, Dan was able to see inside the shop, jaw dropping when he saw a giant plant waving at him. He hung up the phone and ran across the street. “Holy shit! You’re…sentient. You can talk and move all on your own…what are you?”

“I’m starving is what I am! Could you please give me some water?”

Still in awe, Dan was tripping over his feet to get to the watering can. “Is this how Phil feeds you? I wonder why it upsets him so…” as he started back towards the plant, one of its tendrils wraps around his waist and pulls him in towards his mouth.

It’s in that very moment that Phil returns from the store, eyes wide with horror. “No! Let him go!” both Dan and Phil fight with all their might to release Daniel II’s grasp. It takes a good few minutes of struggling, but he is eventually freed. Phil pulls Dan from the store while the plant cackles behind them.

“Are you okay?” Phil asks when they’re safely outside of the store. He winces at the sight of Dan, who has some cuts and gashes on his arms and stomach where his shirt is torn. 

“I’ve had worse,” Dan laughs dryly, the reality of what had transpired setting in. It all made sense, why Phil was so stressed, why he was so secretive about its feedings. At this point, he was too shocked and flustered to question too much, but whispered “Donna’s not in Portugal, is she?”

“Robert’s not missing either,” Phil looked away. “I’m so sorry, Dan. It was never supposed to be like this. When it was just me, it was fine. But it kept wanting more and more and I just…I didn’t want to lose the success, or lose you, so I watched Robert asphyxiate and gave him to it. Then Donna…fuck, that’s even worse. She saw me with his body and was gonna turn me in so I just…I pushed her! You must think I’m a monster now.”

“I don’t,” Dan answered softly. “You’d have never killed Robert if he wasn’t an awful man and Donna, well, there was a reason I never quite trusted her. You made some bad decisions with cloudy judgement, but you’re not a bad person. And I know bad people.”

“You still wanna marry me?”

“You can’t get rid of me that easily.”

“Well! Congratulations to the happy couple!” a voice coming up behind them startled them both, and they turned around to see a man in a neatly tailored suit walking towards them, carrying a briefcase. “Frank Masters, entrepreneur and oddity aficionado. I have a business proposition that you guys just have to hear.”

Phil grabbed Dan’s wrist and started to walk away. “We’re not interested, sorry.”

Frank chased after them. “Oh, but you will be! Just look,” he opened his briefcase and took out a small model of Daniel II, it looked very much like the real thing at its earliest stages. “My partners and I want to take cuttings of your magnificent plant and mass market them. Within a year’s time, they could be in every household in England!” 

“Every household in England?” the pair echoed in horror. 

“Let me just give you my card and—”

“No, no, absolutely not. The plant is not leaving the shop. Sorry, that’s that, have a good night,” Phil quickly ushered him away and turned to Dan. “You go get yourself patched up – the first aid kit is under the sink, I have some unfinished business to attend to.”

Dan scurried away, and Phil stormed right back into the store. 

“Every household in England! That was your plan all along wasn’t it?”

Daniel II laughed maniacally, its tendrils making grabs at Phil, all narrowly missing. “This planet is too small for just one of me. This big, green motherfucker is going international!”

“Over my dead body,” Phil spat, looking through the store to find something to fight the plant with. 

“That’s step two,” the plant retorted.

Phil finally located a large axe and started swinging at the plant, but each blow did nothing. The plant even seemed to mock his efforts, eventually snatching the axe out of his hands and throwing it at him instead. 

Ducking for cover, Phil hid near the supply closet, where he quickly put together a new plan. He had noticed that in Daniel II’s path of destruction, there were a pair of loose, live cables. He grabbed the safe ends and leaned forward, jamming the ends into the base of the pot. All ten feet of the behemoth began vibrating until there was a bright light and explosion. 

After the dust settled, Phil emerged from the debris, tattered and bruised but standing proudly. Nothing remained of Daniel II but shriveled tendrils and leaves. The store was in shambles, and he could see the irrevocable damage fully when he got outside. It was a small price to pay, he decided. 

“Phil!” Dan sprinted across the street, his wounds covered with bandages. Compared to Phil, Dan had gotten off easy in terms of injury. “Are you okay?”

“The plant is dead. Gone. We’re free,” he held on to Dan as he caught his breath. “Come on, we’ll go to the hospital just to get a clean bill of health, then come back and call it a night." 

They walked hand-in-hand into the sunset, the smoldering remains of the flower shop behind them. Tomorrow they would pick up the pieces of their old lives, but the future seemed bright.


End file.
